The Personal – Balance Booster Contest!

As of April 1, 2009 every TEUCU member who gets a quote from the personal between April 1st and June 30th as well as all policies in force as of June 30th, will be entered into a special draw! Just for getting a home or auto insurance quote from The Personal, you will be automatically entered for your chance to win $2,500.00. This exclusive contest is open only to the members of select credit unions and TEUCU is one of them!

For more information please visit our website www.teucu.com after April 1st!

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Did you know? Quicktax is just a click away!

Members now have access to QuickTax through their CyberBanker. There is a link provided that will take you through to the Quicktax page. Here you will find that TEUCU members are entitled to a 20% discount. This offer is good until May 1, 2009. You can also find a link to Quicktax on our website at www.teucu.com.

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The Analog Blog…

Liberias Blackboard Blogger

Alfred Sirleaf is an analog blogger. He runs the “Daily News”, a news hut by the side of a major road in the middle of Monrovia. He started it a number of years ago, stating that he wanted to get news into the hands of those who couldn’t afford newspapers, in the language that they could understand.
This guy is doing a awesome job despite little funding and no electricity. Check out the link here.

Identical twins are identically innocent and guilty…

Saved by their indistinguishable DNA, identical twins suspected in a massive jewelry heist have been set free. Neither could be exclusively linked to the DNA evidence.

German police say at least one of the identical twin brothers Hassan and Abbas O. may have perpetrated a recent multimillion euro jewelry heist in Berlin. But because of their indistinguishable DNA, neither can be individually linked to the crime. Both were set free on Wednesday.

In the early morning hours of February 25, three masked men broke into Germany’s famous luxury department store Kaufhaus Des Westens (KaDeWe). Video cameras show how they climbed into the store’s grand main hall, broke open cabinets and display cases and made off with an estimated €5 million worth of jewelry and watches.

When police found traces of DNA on a glove left at the scene of the crime, it seemed that the criminals responsible for Germany’s most spectacular heist in years would be caught. But the DNA led to not one but two suspects — 27-year-old identical, or monozygotic, twins with near-identical DNA.

German law stipulates that each criminal must be individually proven guilty. The problem in the case of the O. brothers is that their twin DNA is so similar that neither can be exclusively linked to the evidence using current methods of DNA analysis. So even though both have criminal records and may have committed the heist together, Hassan and Abbas O. have been set free.

Both brothers have stolidly refused to comment ever since their arrests on February 11. Since no further evidence has become available, police cannot detain them.

Check out the link here.

Creative Puns for Educated Minds

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical
Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in 

 

France

 

 would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. 
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Thanks Neil!

TEUCU Onsite 26 March 2009.

TEUCU will be having Onsite visits to two Toronto Hydro Locations, 601 Milner (7am-10am) and 5800 Yonge Street (11am-3pm).
Those members who stop by and fill out a ballot will be entered into a draw to win a Movie Night Out courtesy of The Personal.

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You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When…

*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you

*You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked

*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

*You sleep with your eyes open

*You have to watch videos in fast-forward

*You lick your coffee pot clean

*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze

*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

*You can type sixty words a minute with your feet

*You can jump-start your car without cables

*Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”

*You don’t sweat, you percolate

*You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug

*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee

*You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table

*The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you

*Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house

*You’re so wired you pick up FM radio

*Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”

*Instant coffee takes too long

*You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can

*You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”

*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position

*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

Thanks Janette!